Once upon a time in ancient Babylon I used to drink alcohol, please note, I don’t really miss that lifestyle nor the person I was then but I do miss being able to hide behind a bottle of Jack Daniels right before I open my big mouth.
I really haven’t written much lately, I might have attempted a couple of times but failed dismally to come up with something (anything) worth posting, so today is a good day.
Plus I really have been feeling good lately, at least most of the time, apart from (over)procrastinating with a cup of coffee in my hand watching the whole season of the series Shameless in one night, and as attractive as Fiona Gallagher may be, it’s still not enough to ease the guilt for my non productivity of just sitting around the whole day.
Dealing with that and the changes in my body like I’m back to puberty, I had been ugly for most of my life and now I’ve suddenly become easy on the eye, and really beautiful ladies are starting to desire my company; excuse me if this paragraph somehow seems pointless, it’s just that at this pace it seems me and Beyoncé Knowles might go out for a movie soon.
Dealing with procrastination, Beyoncé’s fantasies, beautiful ladies and the shameful fact that at this point I have been writing a book for about nine months and only managed to come up with about 11 pages, not due to the lack of content but rather because I’ve been “too busy” to write.
I have been working long shifts, long days, supporting my family on minimum wage, and I have recently changed jobs as well as a place to stay, so with all these sudden changes my head is just all over the place so I couldn’t really write, but I still managed to see every new movie, about four seasons of Shameless in just one week, went to multiple dinner dates with multiple different ladies and have managed to reply every new text of those very same ladies.
The sad part is Casanova hasn’t even had a second to spare for people that have given him their all, that go as back as high school with him, that have seen me go from Michael Jackson to Tido and back to Michael again, and most importantly have given me the same respectful and attentive treatment they did when I was Bobby Brown in his New Edition days, to when I was Bobby now. Rest in Peace to Whitney.
Not only them, even the girl who has been by my side since before Christ, when I had it all and when I had nothing, she loved, respected and care for me, and now I’m too busy to text back? What a damn shame.
This morning I told her that I wanted out of this relationship, I felt I wasn’t really treating her right and she deserved more, much more than I was willing to offer. And promised her she’d find someone better, I believe in her.
And she told me that she doesn’t want somebody “better”, she wants me as ungrateful, unappreciative, and confused as I am, and these were her exact words;
“I don’t really care that you’re an asshole, as long as you’re my asshole, I’m okay”.