Before I even begin this one I have a confession to make, I am very ashamed of myself. As a kid I used to be very naïve, and very very stupid to say the least. I believed that I knew everything, I was super smart, super intelligent and super good looking that everyone was keen to be around me. I often referred to myself as an “advanced thinker”, believing that I exceeded the “average standards” of thinking for a human being. He, who sees himself to be a wise man, must be the complete opposite of that, and I am living proof.
In my quest to prove my supposedly wisdom, I proved the exact opposite. I have made a fool of myself more times than it is legal. The moment you go out of your way to prove your wisdom, with that on its own you’re in fact proving your foolishness. If you were to prove wisdom, where would you begin? Would you just stop any random person you meet and tell them something really smart? Would you ask those around you to ask you anything and you respond with these super smart answers? I do not know, but I do know that the biggest mistake we make is thinking that wisdom is words. The thing about words is if there is no meaningful action to back them up, they remain as just that, words.
The concept of being “attractive” is rather complex. There are many factors to be considered, especially when talking attraction to the opposite sex. Both men and women often underestimate the intensity of this idea, which is why you get women who think just because they have a big booty, breasts, long hair and other features used to define physical beauty they are attractive, and they can score a man to spend the rest of their lives with, based on just those.
I seriously do not know what attracts women in men but I’m very ashamed to recall that at some point I thought I was it. And don’t get me wrong, it is not that I lack confidence in myself but it is just that I do appreciate the complexity of the matter of attraction. Although it is the looks (facial features, posture, weight, height) but I believe there is much more to it than that, and most of us think that if we have the looks, a well-paying job and a couple of jokes we are good to go. We overlook our ability to understand things, the patience we have with certain situations, how we treat those around us and how we manage our time. It is easy to capture the eye, but it is a complete different story to keep it captured.
With that said, I want to add the advantage of knowing, to know what you have, what you lack, what to do, how to do it, where and when to do it exactly. Knowledge is King.
I have always believed that knowledge is attractive. Knowledge is power of attraction. It expands capacity.
Every day is just a quest for knowledge. I would like to discuss three common sources of data which can be processed to very powerful knowledge. They are;
Honestly when I started reading it was not just because I wanted to learn more, connect more with the world and enhance my thinking capacity to advance my growth as a human being. I had very shameful motivation. I wanted to read so that I can show off new ideas I’ll learn, my vocabulary and a stack of books I always have with me everywhere. As soon as I started I waited with much anticipation for that day I started sounding very smart, but it just never came. Instead it was quite the opposite, the more I grew in books is the more I realized how clueless I was. My perspective slowly changed, I realized reading books don’t make you smarter although it does introduce you to a couple of ides you had never thought/heard of before, and it triggers your overall curiosity about everything. Books are written by other normal thinking individuals as yourself so they offer nothing out of the ordinary, but they definitely do engage with you in a very constructive perspective-building process. The authors I have read their work have become my friends in that we are connected in ideology, so writing and reading builds seriously close relationship in between people that probably will never even meet.
Another misconception we have is thinking that books are the only things to be read. Reading is far deeper than that. I am on Facebook on daily basis and it has advanced my overall literature capacity. I don’t know how many people actually acknowledge that social media platforms have blessed us with a platform to read and write as much as we can, daily. It has challenged each one of us to always share something fresh and new every day, if it is not your own idea, you’re sharing your sentiments on an idea shared by a friend. The amount of information we receive each day from social media is imaginable.
Reading is everywhere on everything. Some people only consider books, newspapers and magazines but it is much deeper than that. I learned to spell the word “protégé’ because I saw it on the subtitles of this other movie I was watching, and I was reading the subtitles. That just shows how vast reading goes and engaging yourself with something so versatile in nature will only result in you being a versatile person.
The power of the visuals we process every day is also a very powerful tool. It teaches one how to behave, what is expected of them and how to deliver it. I am not talking about adhering to social rules and trends but I’m talking about conducting yourself in a “human” manner. It would be impossible for us to behave like human beings if we never saw any human beings who behaved like human beings before us.
Let’s talk about a baby; I think a baby would just lay on its back its whole life if it never saw human beings walking. A baby just lies there, observe people as they do this walking practice that seems so fun and helps them to go about living their lives in a very interesting way, and then a baby is inspired to get up and also embark on this practice.
No one man is an island. No idea is original. All that is done now has been done before. It has reached our generation because someone might have seen it from someone was inspired and started practicing it as well, and he inspired someone who inspired someone who inspired someone who might have inspired you.
We live in global village, in a world where trends as far as China influence people in South Africa in the very same way as the Chinese. To survive in such a fast world you need to keep an open mind, and I believe it is impossible to do so unless you started with opening your eyes. As it had been said, your eyes are indeed the windows of your souls.
Back in high school there would be that one naughty boy who would interrupt the teacher and speak whilst the teacher was still talking, the other kids would just chant; “listening is a skill!! Listening is a skill!!” Listening is indeed a skill in a way that it has to be learned, and believe me it is no different from learning how to apply telekinesis, it is really that much of a complex nature.
I am very talkative. I often feel guilty after most of my social encounters because I feel I talk so much that I often forget to give the other person the opportunity to express their feelings as well. I am very ashamed of that. But that goes to show how complex this concept really is, one moment you might be just telling a friend about a beautiful place you’ve recently visited, and before you know it you will have talked about who you went with, who you met there, the cold you caught on your way back and before you know it again, you will have successfully changed the topic from places to diseases now. And this happens in everyday encounters from all around the world but nobody really reads much into it.
There is nothing wrong with talking, but there is nothing wrong with listening either. Share as much as you have to share, but allow other people to do the same as well. In that, not only were you a “good listener” but you were also a friend, it might be you gave attention to someone who doesn’t usually get it and that made them to feel good about themselves, you helped a pal get something off his chest or you had an awesome laughter with someone who had a really good joke and they just needed someone to share it with.
I work with these two Shangaan folks, a lady in her mid-30s and a gentleman in his early 40s. We do not really relate much so we don’t usually talk, well at least not me anyway. I spend most of my time with them and they talk to each other most of the time but because I’m always around I realized that I’ve started picking up a bit of the Shangaan language. I am a Zulu man from KZN and before them I had never had any Shangaan friends whatsoever, but since I’m around and I have nothing to share I really listen, hence I am starting to pick up the language.
That goes to show the capacity of the brain. That goes to show the true power of just listening, not because you’re waiting for someone to finish up so you can get your chance as well, but because you genuinely care what they have to say. Not because you’re just quiet and occupied with your own thoughts, but because you are fully engaged with the speaker. You will learn far more than you ever would had you just ran your mouth and repeated all the ideas you are already familiar with, but every now and then it helps to ease back a bit and let other people share with you their ideas you have never heard of before.
Search for knowledge, whether about yourself or about the world. The trends around the world, the views you have about them and their impact on your life. Search within yourself, your philosophy, your aspirations, your beliefs, and your values as well. You need to be aware of such to always keep you in check with your own world.
Search for knowledge, around the world and within yourself.
I thank you once again for reading up to this point.