Today I woke up feeling like I’m sixteen all over again, and I remembered discovering how “reading a magazine” for the 1st time actually felt like. The relationship is rather contradictory, from the thrill of the adrenalin, the blood rush, the pacing imagination and the indescribable pleasure upon “reaching…………..the last page”, and the uncomfortable insults and judgments passed by young men (who are quite “literate” themselves) to those who publicly admit their “literacy”.
Funny how when we were younger we talked about “the actual do” all the time and we all claimed to have had done it before, and with female companions at that. No one would figure out the other friends were lying as much as themselves. I guess we were all too concern with protecting our own “I’ve done it before” lies that we wouldn’t even notice that our dearest friends were doing the exact same thing. Not only that, we’d also miss that we all knew the very same female friends so if two people “hooked up” it would inevitably come out somehow, but a young naïve mind would just take their friend’s word, honor they friend’s request to not ask the about it and overlook that you know how disgusted she gets at a slightest sound of any word that starts with letter “S for…………”, for it is said to be a biblical sin, and she’d never attempt it till marriage.
One evening we were just talking about “ lonesome literature” when the usual insults and judgments were thrown at those who “do it”, still puzzles me how we all still had the ability to raise our righted hands to point fingers even though they ached so bad, from “flipping the pages” obviously. And then this one friend of mine stepped up and said “my name is……, I stay up late every night after my parents have long gone to bed, I watch “grown up” movies and then it becomes extremely hard to sleep, as these graphic images replay in my head I go to the bathroom, lock myself inside and…………………. “Read a magazine”. I cannot even find the words to describe the shock, the confusion and that sense of relief the rest of the group felt as he went on as far as saying it was nothing to be ashamed of and he feels no shame sharing it, not even now.
He’s a true pioneer, a legend. Can you picture the guilt he freed me of as I was struggling with my teenage years, because hey, it was almost mission impossible to bump into “active” ladies back in my day. I eventually grew comfortable with the idea, so much that I even found humor in it, and other scholars” started sharing their experiences as well, from those who did it in a sock on to avoid messiness (such as myself), those in a toilet bowl (such as my friend), and to my personal favorite; a true scholar who did it with his legs crossed watching TV with his parents, he must have been a Karate black belt holder because he would just put it in between his legs apparently, apply friction with them until he “reached ………………. the last page”, he would then only leave for the bathroom afterwards to “wipe” off.
The lesson here is; it is completely normal for young people to explore their bodies in this nature”. So there is nothing wrong with you my young friend, so you really have nothing to be ashamed of.