Failure: My Best Teacher

I do not believe in mistakes and accidents, everything is how it was meant to be. Everything is for a specific reason, to serve a certain purpose, so learn what it means to teach you, for moaning it only result in relentless repetition in an attempt to get the lesson through, and so a bad moment can easily turn to a bad day, a bad week, a bad month, a bad year, and ultimately, a bad life.

I have just failed a job interview, not just anywhere but in Sandton (I always have been crazy about Sandton), in a marketing agency (although initially I had wanted PR but marketing was close enough) and I just couldn’t handle the loss, I wanted to self-destruct, and quit my retail job, head to Sandton to look for every and any PR agency I might find and hand in my CV in person.

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After a couple of moments my right mind came back, and I realized I cannot just up and leave at a heated moment, destroy what I have because of what I have failed to get, that is failing twice, failing my future self simultaneously with my present one. Don’t get me wrong, I still think dropping CVs off in person is a good idea, but how I’m thinking of going about it isn’t, lack of preparedness always amount to failure. I should do research, be well informed about agencies I plan to approach as opposite to just googling their names and addresses.
Yes, failure does sting hard, but failing to accept failure is failure in its nature. Take it in, take a deep breath, get back up, and try again.

I have always chased happiness, but never have found it; maybe I’ve been sitting on it all along. I had seriously thought happiness is finding my dream job, dream car, house, girl, etc. but I was wrong, happiness is just a positive attitude. I can be happy today, with the right attitude of course. If I am happy it doesn’t always mean that I’m happy with where my life is, it just means that I am happy I woke up, healthy at that, I’m surrounded by love and I’ve had something to eat today, and then I need to apply that very same attitude towards changing my circumstances.

Failure humbles us, they say. Failure is meant to teach us something, never fail to win and then again fail to learn what a loss is meant to tech you.

Amen.

Does Being A Pervert Make Me Such A Bad Person?

SEX, SEX, and more SEX= My average thoughts on an average day.
I’m not really certain if I should really write this one, but since I’ve went as far as putting my laptop on my lap I might as well. Welcome to forth base.

A woman breastfed next to me the other day, I couldn’t help but stare at her “titties”, so much that she had to stop and I felt so horrible as the baby started crying, the little man must have been not full. This other time I worked as a security guard, and this man and his wife had just purchased underwear for the Mrs., and as they walked out my alarm beeped and I had to search for tags still stuck in their packaged, and as I opened it my eyes glowed like a boy with a new toy, and the husband whispered in my ear; “Merry Christmas son”.

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Does it all make me a bad person? Yes I sniff panties, masturbate, and randomly stare at strange women and fantasize about having sex with them.
My granny would be so ashamed of me, she raised me by the ways of Christianity and I know that fantasizing about adultery is a sin as actually committing it, but the last time I went to church I got an erection in the Lord’s house as I sat behind a lady with a booty so big that I could see the panties line underneath her long skirt, but then again I always have been so “vigilant”, hallelujah.

That was back in 2005 or 6, I’m a grown man now but I still have hormones of a 16 year old boy, and they embarrass me every day.
I often feel like Don Jon, my relationships often include me, girlfriend, dirty Facebook and twitter pages, pornhub and Vaseline, so my righted hand still aches as it did back in high school.

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Does this entire make me a bad person, or just a shallow one?

I still read, write, treat other people well, pray to God (although I no longer go to church), and pay my taxes, but, I’d still sleep with the 1st lady that might walk through that door.

Does that make me such a bad person?

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Kendrick Lamar and Tupac Shakur

I remember you was conflicted
Misusing your influence
Sometimes I did the same
Abusing my power, full of resentment
Resentment that turned into a deep depression
Found myself screaming in the hotel room
I didn’t wanna self destruct
The evils of Lucy was all around me
So I went running for answers
Until I came home
But that didn’t stop survivor’s guilt
Going back and forth trying to convince myself the stripes I earned
Or maybe how A-1 my foundation was
But while my loved ones was fighting the continuous war back in the city, I was entering a new one
A war that was based on apartheid and discrimination
Made me wanna go back to the city and tell the homies what I learned
The word was respect
Just because you wore a different gang colour than mines
Doesn’t mean I can’t respect you as a black man
Forgetting all the pain and hurt we caused each other in these streets
If I respect you, we unify and stop the enemy from killing us
But I don’t know, I’m no mortal man, maybe I’m just another nigga.

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There Are No Shortcuts In Life (a shoplifter’s story)

Today I witnessed a young lady (probably in her early 20s) being caught red-handed shoplifting, and was arrested on the spot. When she was kept in the store’s “naughty corner” awaiting the police, customers gave her judgmental looks and the staff passed very hurtful comments.

Just the other day I had looked at all the security measures retail shops take these days, from clothes tags, surveillance cameras, guards by the door and much more, and wondered how much these cost to set up and maintain, but figured far lesser than being prone to shoplifting.

In that compromised position she was a criminal, so the society had every right to look at her like one. The shop staff that smile each day and sell clothes they can’t even afford themselves felt almost cheated by her, mocked almost and taken for fools because if she thought they were any smarter, she would have figured they’d catch her.1320985

She was committed enough to almost find a way to get away with such a crime at such a sophisticated store, she must be very smart, only if she had directed her smartness at a different angle. Shoplifting is a crime, and even the justice system treat it as such, so grabbing a pair of Luella boots results in a criminal record as same as hijacking.

I just wonder why she did it, it wasn’t poverty because she wasn’t bare-footed. Maybe she and her girls were going to a party, and her crush was going to be there as well and so she really wanted to make a statement, her parents told her they can’t afford a new pair of shoes at the moment and so she opted to “plan B”, and now that she’s all alone in a prison cell she’s thinking was it really worth it? My friends, will they even come see me? And as for him, does he even know all the trouble I went through for him? Does he even care? And my parents, what will they say when they hear I’ve been arrested for shoplifting? What will I say to them? How will I even look at them?

The lesson here is; “there are no shortcuts in life”. There is nothing wrong with wanting the finer things in life, but you have to be willing to work for them. Actions have consequences, so be very careful of what you say or do because in the end it will come back to you in the very same way you had intended it for the next person.

Amen.