I often say I blog to practice my writing skills and share words of inspiration simultaneously, but one thing I never say is; I blog because I’m lonely, I have no one to talk to but the four walls I am always caged in.
Stuff most people often share in random conversations with their friends has to be formulated to a blog article with me because I have no friends to share it with, what a damn shame.
I have a very lively personality, interesting thoughts and theories and most importantly, such optimism on life that being around me should be “fun”, but judging by the number of friends I have (being zero by the way) it’s not, I guess my need for honesty, relevance and intellectual compatibility has left me estranged from the rest of the world.
I’ve recently started working again, thank heavens, because I had been cramped in my room for about four months straight apparently “working on my first book” that four days would go by without any interaction with other human beings, believe or not.
I do visit my mom on occasion, talk to my little bro about women and stuff, and chat with big sis from time to time, but mostly I’m all alone with my thoughts that haunt me, trouble me, and so one day I decided that the only way to counter contemplating suicide is to start blogging, share my thoughts with the world and in that way I will feel like I am also contributing something to the world.
I often feel like no one really knows me, understands me, my thoughts, feelings, emotions and the internal struggles I go through every day, they just see the awkwardly perverted a**hole with an “abstract” personality, and that’s me being as lenient with myself as I possibly can.
Honestly I am comfortable with being all alone, almost obsessed in fact, and I’d never trade my “privacy” for anything. Every night that I stay up late in total silence, in complete tranquility, and I start to write, about any and everything that comes to mind, in no certain order but just as according to feeling, are undeniably my most blissful moments.
But nevertheless, I’d still appreciate a random text from a random friend on a random day, even if it is just to remind me that they still remember that I’m still alive.