Me And My Big Mouth

Once upon a time in ancient Babylon I used to drink alcohol, please note, I don’t really miss that lifestyle nor the person I was then but I do miss being able to hide behind a bottle of Jack Daniels right before I open my big mouth.
I really haven’t written much lately, I might have attempted a couple of times but failed dismally to come up with something (anything) worth posting, so today is a good day.

Plus I really have been feeling good lately, at least most of the time, apart from (over)procrastinating with a cup of coffee in my hand watching the whole season of the series Shameless in one night, and as attractive as Fiona Gallagher may be, it’s still not enough to ease the guilt for my non productivity of just sitting around the whole day.

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Dealing with that and the changes in my body like I’m back to puberty, I had been ugly for most of my life and now I’ve suddenly become easy on the eye, and really beautiful ladies are starting to desire my company; excuse me if this paragraph somehow seems pointless, it’s just that at this pace it seems me and Beyoncé Knowles might go out for a movie soon.

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Dealing with procrastination, Beyoncé’s fantasies, beautiful ladies and the shameful fact that at this point I have been writing a book for about nine months and only managed to come up with about 11 pages, not due to the lack of content but rather because I’ve been “too busy” to write.
I have been working long shifts, long days, supporting my family on minimum wage, and I have recently changed jobs as well as a place to stay, so with all these sudden changes my head is just all over the place so I couldn’t really write, but I still managed to see every new movie, about four seasons of Shameless in just one week, went to multiple dinner dates with multiple different ladies and have managed to reply every new text of those very same ladies.

The sad part is Casanova hasn’t even had a second to spare for people that have given him their all, that go as back as high school with him, that have seen me go from Michael Jackson to Tido and back to Michael again, and most importantly have given me the same respectful and attentive treatment they did when I was Bobby Brown in his New Edition days, to when I was Bobby now. Rest in Peace to Whitney.
Not only them, even the girl who has been by my side since before Christ, when I had it all and when I had nothing, she loved, respected and care for me, and now I’m too busy to text back? What a damn shame.

This morning I told her that I wanted out of this relationship, I felt I wasn’t really treating her right and she deserved more, much more than I was willing to offer. And promised her she’d find someone better, I believe in her.
And she told me that she doesn’t want somebody “better”, she wants me as ungrateful, unappreciative, and confused as I am, and these were her exact words;
“I don’t really care that you’re an asshole, as long as you’re my asshole, I’m okay”.

Know Yourself

About four years ago I graduated a national diploma in Public Relations with flying colors, and around this age I had expected myself to be working for a very vibrant PR agency, smelling of Gucci perfumes and dressed in formal clothing five days a week, conceptualizing PR campaigns every single day, and truly conquering the world.
But, unfortunately I do not drive a stylish VW car and date my boss’s niece like I had often dreamed, instead I am stuck in a Walmart stockroom packing boxes with people who have never had the privilege of receiving even half the education I was blessed with, and as much as I’d really like to blame the government, global economy and nepotism for my misfortunes, I really can’t, because as most of my fellow schoolmates volunteered in PR firms to acquire “experience” that has hindered the success of many, I was, like many, too “important” to work for free.

And now I have went from one lousy job to the next and applied for PR jobs on a daily basis with consistent persistence, and understood that although I had made very poor decisions as a child but life does go on, fancy job or not. I have recently almost went homeless, so I now know the importance of having a job, even if it’s not your dream job, but the ability to put a roof over your head and food in your stomach is a very good start.

I show my appreciation by just doing my job as efficiently as I can, and going an extra mile when necessary. And my enthusiasm is often criticized and discouraged by other colleagues who stress the company really doesn’t care about us, that management has no respect for their staff and that my efforts would be futile in the end.

I often smile and respond; “it really has nothing to do with neither the company nor top management, but is all about me”.
The moment I walked into a Walmart store I knew exactly that I won’t be able to afford cars, suits and perfumes I often dream of, but I’d be able to feed and clothe myself, well until I really figure things out. And now that I’m inside, as an aspiring business man this job has afforded me an opportunity to learn about employees, their attitudes, dedication and feelings towards the companies they work for, and people leading them, and because of this job I believe that one day when I’m heading up top companies I’ll be excellent at human resources. I don’t take the store I work for or my job in it for granted, because someday it will be me owning such a company and it would pain me to see an employee of mine take for granted the very same company that provides for them. For me this job is just “paid training” because I work with a purpose, go the extra mile to better enhance my abilities and acquire trade skills in which I’ll employ for my own benefit someday.
Needless to say, I will not be at the bottom of the food chain forever, and due to this experience, the day I get to the top I’ll be better able to assign reasonable duties to employees and pay equally reasonable, show appreciation for the value my staff adds to the company and make peace with the fact that ultimately workers are never truly satisfied, no matter how hard you may try to please them.

Be Happy

The best gift you can give yourself in life is happiness, you deserve it.
I had been unhappy for most of my life, although I already knew the potential in which I possessed I still managed to convince myself that happiness wasn’t for me, at least not in the present moment, well at least not until I make my first million.

Like most of us, I had also fooled myself into believing that happiness comes with being in possession of certain materialistic possessions nor the company of certain people, that happiness came from a house on the hills, a Porsche in its garage and the company of Marilyn Monroe, and I overlooked wiser men with five Porsches, five houses and a thousand Marylyn Monroe’s that still manage to cry themselves to sleep every single night, puzzled as to why it all isn’t what they had expected it to be.

It is all because we do not understand that happiness has nothing to do with your earnings, prestige or luxurious privileges, but it is in your heart, it is abundance. Being happy with R 200 in the very same way you would be with R 200 000 000 is a true recipe to happiness, finding satisfaction in your own company before seeking that of others and living life in your own comfortable pace, instead of “keeping up with the Jones”.
We all ultimately want to do better in life, but it is almost impossible to do better unless you start by acknowledging and appreciating the good you have already done so far, gratitude is King.

In conclusion, happiness is enjoying the simplest pleasures in life, and that is, good food, clean water, music, sunlight, and ultimately appreciating the present moment for the beauty it truly is and worrying less about the future. It is taking life one step at a time, living on your own terms and never passing on an opportunity to smile.

Be happy.

How Was Your Day?

My mission is to only speak when I have nothing nice to say, otherwise I just keep quite. I want to be remembered for the lives I touched, the hope and happiness I brought into peoples’ lives and not as that douchebag who said your belt wasn’t matching your shoes.

My mission is kindness, treating every moment and person I come in contact with like it’s my last, like this is all they had to remember me by.

I don’t postpone anything, especially not an opportunity to flash a smile at the next person.

Take a look at your day, just today. Did you live it right? Did you say all you needed to and listened to all other people had to say to you as well? Did you pick up the phone to remind someone out there someone is thinking of them? Did you seek forgiveness of those you have wronged? And more importantly, did you forgive those who have wronged you as well?
And finally, if you were to drop dead right at this very moment, would you be satisfied with the way you have lived your day? Not your whole life, just this day, today.