I Wish You Well

I wish on a shooting star,
I wish you are
All you want to be
I wish you are free.

I wish you health,
Happiness, love, wealth
I wish you worth.

I wish all your dreams come true
And they bring you the joy you hope they do
And you have loyal companions too
With best intentions at heart for you,
Like I do.

I wish you wealth
Diamond rings, platinum pearls, gold earrings,
I wish you health,
Oxygen, clean water as pure as your soul is to me,
And for the ground you walk on to worship you,
The birds to sing for you,
And the stars to shine for you.

I wish the starts to shine for you,
better yet, to shine through you.

I wish you life.
I wish you well.

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Me And Women’s Shoes

Before I say anything, I just want to congratulate myself for my new job, well done boy.

I’ve worked too many many jobs in my life to still be flattered by these things but for some strange reason this time I am, and I really don’t know why. Maybe it’s because it came when I most needed it? Or, maybe it’s because I assist women buy shoes, I mean, beautiful women to buy beautiful shoes.

I have only worked for two days but it was long enough for the obsession women have with shoes to be justified to me; women’s shoes are just too adorable, whether it’s boots, shoots, hiker boots, push-ins, pums, open toes, wedges, (my personal favorite) hills, or any other kind.

Every kind is designed specifically unique, and for a newbie as myself a great deal of confusion is suffered, I confuse shoes, and women know them too well to be looted by my incompetence, so I’ve run back and forth like a damn idiot more times than I care to remember (in only two days by the way). The other challenge is I’m colorblind, so all these different shoe colors are rocket science to me, for instance, ink navy, mushroom and my new favorite, “nude”, I really have no idea why a color would be called “nude” but since it’s nudity, this might be the first color I’m able to see.

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I guess I just wanted to say, “Congratulations to myself”.
And ladies, once I’m a shoe guru, I promise to offer some shoe shopping tips.

Bye girls.

#IKnowWhatGirlsLike

This guy swore to me he knows the secret to getting women, apparently, he got the “game” from his uncle and promised to pass it onto me, he must think I’m some kind of idiot, or his uncle thought he was.

No man truly knows exactly what is it that attracts ladies to them; no man knows exactly what girls like, and not even girls. Girls are different, even from each other so you can’t really measure their preferences based on a girl who laughed at your joke the other day, because you make meet a different girl and make the very same joke and look like a damn idiot. I’m not really an expert with women but ‘the make a joke’ route never really works out. I have seen many idiots make many idiotic jokes in front of their crush, and then a crush “crushes”, and I couldn’t help but think if that was me, I would have been seriously crushed.

And so the guy went on saying, “Girls do not want you to be all uptight, they want you to be cool”, I couldn’t help but think; being yourself is the “coolest” you can be, because if you fake it, she ain’t no fool, she’ll see you’re corny.
People that are comfortable in their own skins are the most attractive, because they have authenticity, uniqueness and originality that most “cool” people do not possess.

I have met a million experts when it comes to getting women, but somehow, they all just never seem to getting women themselves.

Anyway, I’ve once heard a lady say; “What we desire the most is not men, it’s just the ability to eat without getting fat”.

Conversations With Lucy #01

“When a student is ready the teacher shall appear” and “Everything happens for a reason” repeated simultaneously on my mind. I kept thinking that one must embrace his fate with no questions asked, for the answers often lie on the expedition.

As I sat on a chair opposite an devastatingly attractive white lady in her mid-20s, with a super model body, beautiful breasts, slim waist and thighs to die for, if I was not dead already. I avoided all eye contact because her face terrified me, plain of emotions but still very beautiful, with its tone, cheek bones, succulent lips and big bright eyes that took on every color and shape of every creature on earth simultaneously. She was everything and nothing, all at once. I wondered if she could feel my heartbeat, sense my fears, or read my thoughts. But then again thought “it’s impossible to read one’s……

LUCY: (smiling) Yes, I can read your thoughts.
ME: (shocked) but that’s impossible.
LUCY: So what is possible then?
ME: I don’t know, it’s all that’s realistic man.
LUCY: So, again, what is realistic?
ME: (spreads arms in confusion) I don’t know, you know, anything that real people do.
LUCY: Mr. Ubuntu, I could ask you who are these real people and what is it that they do, but my efforts would only be futile.
ME: So in other words I’d give you a wrong answer?
LUCY: (looks straight at Ubuntu’s eyes) Mister, just because an answer isn’t exactly what one might have liked to hear doesn’t necessarily make it wrong, as much as you believing that you’re not capable of certain things, you don’t make them impossible.
ME: So who does?
LUCY: No one.
ME: (hesitantly) not even God?
LUCY: (smiling) especially not God.
ME: (almost like talking to himself) But doesn’t God separate the possible from the impossible?
LUCY: No, He doesn’t, nothing does. God said be all you can be, and so what you are now is a reflection of how you, and only you, perceive your own self. Your limitations are of your own doing, and not God’s.
ME: (teasingly) so if I wanted to fly, would I be able to?
LUCY: I don’t know Mr. Ubuntu, would you?
ME: (disappointed) But I thought you had said I can be anything I want to be about a second ago.
LUCY: I cannot tell you what you can or cannot be, that power’s within you. Even if I genuinely believed you could fly, you’d still never be able to unless you believed it too.
ME: (irritated) Can I fly or not Miss Lucy?
LUCY: (firmly) you don’t get really my point Mr. Ubuntu. I’m saying, no one can tell you what you can or cannot be, not even me.
ME: (even more confused now) But I thought…………..

[……..TO BE CONTINUED]

“Size Really Doesn’t Matter”

Dear Ladies

Unlike most of you, I am really genuine when I say, “Size really doesn’t matter”.

Whether you’re fat, thin, skinny, thick or whatever fit description for a female body these days, it is your body and yours alone, so own it, embrace it, love and cherish it, and as for everyone who got a problem with that, they can just worry about their damn own bodies as well.

An ideal female body is a delusion, given its idealism is pre-determined by forever changing social trends, so today’s ideal body may not be so ideal tomorrow when a new trend emerges. It was once perceived as “ideal” to have big breasts, but as the Pamela Anderson era came to an end and the twerking Nicki Minaj Anaconda music video one surfaced, big butts suddenly became ideal(ler) than big boobs.

(Photo credit: Google images)

(Photo credit: Google images)

Even the sexiest body ever (by whichever standards by the way) can’t really make a man fall in love with you, he might want to f#*k your brains out, but, being desired sexually isn’t always being loved. So in a nutshell, you can’t really tell your attractiveness based on a number of men that want to sleep with you, because men really want to sleep with anyone, everyone, everything, sh*t, men even want to sleep with other men as well.

Men will fall in love with you for something far deeper than your body, your soul, for if it were just about the body, rappers Kanye West and Wiz Khalifa, would have never left the thick, curvy-licious, and booty-licous ex-stripper and model Amber Rose.

Amber-Rose-Naked-000

And lastly, dress appropriately. A pair of jeans that looks stunning on your friend may not always do it for you, and not because you’re less beautiful than your friend, but simply because you’re built different from them.

“As long as you know how to use it properly, size really doesn’t matter”.

Sincerely Yours
Ubuntu.