I remember you was conflicted
Misusing your influence
Sometimes I did the same
Abusing my power, full of resentment
Resentment that turned into a deep depression
Found myself screaming in the hotel room
I didn’t wanna self destruct
The evils of Lucy was all around me
So I went running for answers
Until I came home
But that didn’t stop survivor’s guilt
Going back and forth trying to convince myself the stripes I earned
Or maybe how A-1 my foundation was
But while my loved ones was fighting the continuous war back in the city, I was entering a new one
A war that was based on apartheid and discrimination
Made me wanna go back to the city and tell the homies what I learned
The word was respect
Just because you wore a different gang colour than mines
Doesn’t mean I can’t respect you as a black man
Forgetting all the pain and hurt we caused each other in these streets
If I respect you, we unify and stop the enemy from killing us
But I don’t know, I’m no mortal man, maybe I’m just another nigga.
ME: So, can anyone really tell one what to do?
LUCY: Yes, only if they allow them to.
ME: (confused) But, how?
LUCY: (smiling) We allow everything that happens to us, no matter how unfortunate it may be, once you give signals that it is okay to tell you what to do, every other new person that comes into your life will at some point attempt to control you in one way or another.
ME: (sighs)………………. (thinks for a moment) So……….. (hesitantly) what is the right thing to do?
LUCY: I don’t know (spreads arms), you tell me.
ME: (Irritated) What is that supposed to mean?
LUCY: Its means no one can really know what’s right for you but you. We are all different, so are our circumstances, ideas and ultimately, our way of thinking. With that said, we can’t really share identical views on these things.
ME: So how do I know those of my own?
LUCY: Really now? Look within yourself Mr., everything lies there. Tell you what, the ideas of your friends, parents, even your preacher’s are not always right for you, go with what your instincts tell you to do, your intuition is your guardian angel my friend. Do what is right for you, and not what you think will be “viewed” (air quotations) as right by your peers.
Me: (more confused than ever) You know what, today I’m really not getting you. You know, I was thinking that………………..
[TO BE CONTINUED……………….]