When I joined WordPress I never introduced myself properly, my apologies, I’d like to rectify my mistake, hopefully it’s not too late.
Ubuntu is my legacy. Most artists’ earlier work is never discovered, and I’d be dammed if the same happened to mine, so I’ve decided to store my stories, articles and poetry here, to make it easier for future literature scholars to discover them some day, and share them with a larger audience hopefully.
I have struggled a lot, from my parents leaving me to be raised by grandparents who never truly wanted to, as I struggle with sharing a sense of belonging to this very day. To living with my dad and stepmom, daddy was an alcoholic so he never truly was around and stepmom drew a line so vivid between “step” and “mom” that even a blind person could see it. Needless to say it didn’t work out in the end, so my aunt took me in, but reminded me every single day that nobody else wanted me, manipulated my gratitude and expected to be sung praises to like she was in fact God, The Book Of Yeezus. Mom only returned around my 10th grade, she and dad had reconciled by then, but he was then unemployed due to his alcoholism which significantly consumed him, so he was a nightmare to live with, not only were we that poor, but we were also abused, so picture being kicked in your “empty” stomach for no bloody reason at all.
Long story short, it is indeed a miracle to be sitting behind a computer screen and writing articles instead of being in a grave, or facing time in a maximum security prison. The day I had to grace prison, the victim dropped all charges. He gave us a second chance, as God did in countless instances that my crew “collided” with other crews and we came back in one piece. And God gave me a second chance, when he ensured my absence the day my close friend stabbed a man to death and was sentenced 25 to life.
My greatest tales are my greatest shames. No one has ever truly understood me, my high school teachers told me I had no potential to be anything at all, fellow students constantly mocked me and ostracized me, that loneliness has stuck with me to this very day, so much that in tertiary I only said about 10 words in a 3-year whole course, and in every job I’ve ever had I’d just read my book peacefully during lunch breaks that eventually co-workers would get me fired.
I’m currently unemployed, so this blog is to keep busy, make new friends and prevent insanity. I will tell you a lot about myself, assume a lot about you and the world around us, if you have so much time to yourself as I do, you happen to become very “creative”, trust me. Hopefully someone out there will relate, even it’s just one person, I will have fulfilled my duty.
I dream big, too big, and I want everyone with dreams as big as mine to know that they are not crazy, and to not let non-dreamers discourage them anyhow, even if it’s your best friend, lover or even your mama, they can’t tell you what you can or cannot be, the world is your oyster.
And to my dad, Rest in Peace Cowboy, we have forgiven you, forgive yourself as well. To my late son, daddy loves you so much, and he would have climbed mountains and swum with sharks just so you could have one good ass life, Rest in Peace young solder.
And to the rest of the world, I appreciated you reading this to these very last words, and hopefully it’s not the last time.
Thank you so much, and my apologies again for not doing this sooner.
Please bear in mind, this is for my younger brother, he’s only 17.
There is really nothing “friendly” about friendzone. Guys love pretty much everything a cute lady might say to them except for, “Ncooo, you’re so nice”, “you’re like a brother to me”, or always being referred to as “buddy” in every text.
Having a female friend is harmless, only when the friendship is mutual. But, if “you want more”, things get complicated. “Wanting more” doesn’t necessarily classify the relationship as a friendzone, unless she is well aware of your interests and chooses to ignore them deliberately. Then you’re screwed.
I have put together these few techniques on how to avoid being friendzoned.
1. Make your intentions known from the very beginning- This way everyone knows exactly what they are signing up for, and no unwelcome surprises will ambush anyone.
2. Don’t “take things slowly”- This only gets you stuck in the slow lane forever.
3. Never settle for friendship- Being “just friends” with someone you love always ends up hurting you, if not the both of you ultimately.
4. Never talk about her boyfriend- If she says something about her boyfriend, don’t entertain it, or else you’ll end up knowing so much about her relationship that it will be awkward to tell her how you feel.
5. Make dirty jokes- This speeds up the process of knowing whether you stand a chance or nay, because if she hates your dirty jokes, then she won’t get nasty with you.
6. Don’t be intimidated- When she threatens to leave the friendship because you want more, let her, because only having her as a friend equals to not having her at all when you really love her that much.
7. Chances are she loves you too- Girls can tell when a guy likes them, so since she keeps you around, it might mean you do stand a chance after all.
8. Or, she really doesn’t- When a girl is in a relationship, breaks up with her man, overlooks you and finds another man, as difficult as it may sound, move on my man, she really doesn’t like you.
Love yourself enough to never love anyone who doesn’t love you back. So if a person feels they rather be with someone else instead of you, let go of them, they’re not worth it.
ME: So, can anyone really tell one what to do?
LUCY: Yes, only if they allow them to.
ME: (confused) But, how?
LUCY: (smiling) We allow everything that happens to us, no matter how unfortunate it may be, once you give signals that it is okay to tell you what to do, every other new person that comes into your life will at some point attempt to control you in one way or another.
ME: (sighs)………………. (thinks for a moment) So……….. (hesitantly) what is the right thing to do?
LUCY: I don’t know (spreads arms), you tell me.
ME: (Irritated) What is that supposed to mean?
LUCY: Its means no one can really know what’s right for you but you. We are all different, so are our circumstances, ideas and ultimately, our way of thinking. With that said, we can’t really share identical views on these things.
ME: So how do I know those of my own?
LUCY: Really now? Look within yourself Mr., everything lies there. Tell you what, the ideas of your friends, parents, even your preacher’s are not always right for you, go with what your instincts tell you to do, your intuition is your guardian angel my friend. Do what is right for you, and not what you think will be “viewed” (air quotations) as right by your peers.
Me: (more confused than ever) You know what, today I’m really not getting you. You know, I was thinking that………………..
[TO BE CONTINUED……………….]