My Self-Esteem

To say I have a low self-esteem would be a lie, although I’m sometimes skeptical to call it high.
I think of myself as average in every possible way, and that’s just euphemism for dull as they come.
I do not drink, smoke or club, I spend most of my time indoors writing articles, reading books and watching documentaries on how to acquire wealth; I’m as dull as they come.

When I was younger I wasn’t a very fluent speaker, my aunt would imitate my sloppy voice that I grew up too afraid to voice my thoughts and feelings fearing focus would not be on my content but rather my “funny” voice, funny isn’t it?
In high school I was “slightly” overweight, and at home they treated being fat like a “deficiency”. I remember my aunt showing me the Eddie Murphy movie The Nutty Professor so I knew “the handicaps of being fat”, as if the tight pants that I wore in grade 9 weren’t enough torture, and the fact that a girl I used to crush on once spanked my ass because it looked like a girl’s, damn it.

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I have never been handsome, smart, excelled in academics or athletics that I was a center of attention, and Lord knows how desperate I have been to get noticed somehow.

Am I confident in myself though? I would like to think I am. I have made peace with my “deficiencies”, focused on maximizing my strengths, and realized that what really matters in life is how you impact other peoples’ lives whilst just living your own, hence I have made it a personal mission of mine to make people feel good about themselves.

Again, am I really confident? I am not confident that if I ever asked Beyoncé out she would say yes, but I am confident that with my words I can make someone feel good about themselves as much as I’d like to believe Beyoncé does about herself.

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My aunt really screwed me over, but I’m partly to blame, I should have known making one more sandwich on a full stomach was a bad idea.

I have really struggled fitting in the society, so much that when I think back of college I only imagine the weirdo my classmates must have figured I was, and as for the rest of the schoolmates I doubt they even noticed me as I was defeated by painful hunger pains, abusive background, bad choices and a paraffin stove odor; I have truly come a long way.

God has blessed me; I have been through a storm and because of it I have learned some of the most valuable lessons in life; some which are more valuable than everything I ever learned in college, combined.

And for the last time, am I really confident in myself? Yes, so much that I don’t even need to prove it to no one. My life matters, I know it, I believe in it and I let it shine through every fiber of my being without making it anybody’s burden.

Amen.

#IKnowWhatGirlsLike

This guy swore to me he knows the secret to getting women, apparently, he got the “game” from his uncle and promised to pass it onto me, he must think I’m some kind of idiot, or his uncle thought he was.

No man truly knows exactly what is it that attracts ladies to them; no man knows exactly what girls like, and not even girls. Girls are different, even from each other so you can’t really measure their preferences based on a girl who laughed at your joke the other day, because you make meet a different girl and make the very same joke and look like a damn idiot. I’m not really an expert with women but ‘the make a joke’ route never really works out. I have seen many idiots make many idiotic jokes in front of their crush, and then a crush “crushes”, and I couldn’t help but think if that was me, I would have been seriously crushed.

And so the guy went on saying, “Girls do not want you to be all uptight, they want you to be cool”, I couldn’t help but think; being yourself is the “coolest” you can be, because if you fake it, she ain’t no fool, she’ll see you’re corny.
People that are comfortable in their own skins are the most attractive, because they have authenticity, uniqueness and originality that most “cool” people do not possess.

I have met a million experts when it comes to getting women, but somehow, they all just never seem to getting women themselves.

Anyway, I’ve once heard a lady say; “What we desire the most is not men, it’s just the ability to eat without getting fat”.

Friendzoned?

Please bear in mind, this is for my younger brother, he’s only 17.

There is really nothing “friendly” about friendzone. Guys love pretty much everything a cute lady might say to them except for, “Ncooo, you’re so nice”, “you’re like a brother to me”, or always being referred to as “buddy” in every text.

Having a female friend is harmless, only when the friendship is mutual. But, if “you want more”, things get complicated. “Wanting more” doesn’t necessarily classify the relationship as a friendzone, unless she is well aware of your interests and chooses to ignore them deliberately. Then you’re screwed.

I have put together these few techniques on how to avoid being friendzoned.

1. Make your intentions known from the very beginning- This way everyone knows exactly what they are signing up for, and no unwelcome surprises will ambush anyone.
2. Don’t “take things slowly”- This only gets you stuck in the slow lane forever.
3. Never settle for friendship- Being “just friends” with someone you love always ends up hurting you, if not the both of you ultimately.
4. Never talk about her boyfriend- If she says something about her boyfriend, don’t entertain it, or else you’ll end up knowing so much about her relationship that it will be awkward to tell her how you feel.
5. Make dirty jokes- This speeds up the process of knowing whether you stand a chance or nay, because if she hates your dirty jokes, then she won’t get nasty with you.
6. Don’t be intimidated- When she threatens to leave the friendship because you want more, let her, because only having her as a friend equals to not having her at all when you really love her that much.
7. Chances are she loves you too- Girls can tell when a guy likes them, so since she keeps you around, it might mean you do stand a chance after all.
8. Or, she really doesn’t- When a girl is in a relationship, breaks up with her man, overlooks you and finds another man, as difficult as it may sound, move on my man, she really doesn’t like you.

Love yourself enough to never love anyone who doesn’t love you back. So if a person feels they rather be with someone else instead of you, let go of them, they’re not worth it.

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