Moving On From One Relationship To Another

When is the right time to move one to another relationship? Especially after breaking up with a long time partner; the answer is, whenever you feel ready. But, the tricky part is; feeling ready and being ready isn’t always the same thing; there are many false alarms in between.

Have you ever been in a relationship for so long that it ended up feeling like not a relationship? Like you guys were now siblings, except every now and then you’d roar like a lion and take her panties off using just your teeth, and you know you can’t do that to your real sibling, right?


The thing about such relationships is; you often take for granted the effect they have on you since they’ve been around forever and the moment they come to an end you realize that “Bae” was more important than you had realized. Some couples develop certain languages, gestures, expressions, or inside jokes that only they understand, and having a joke so good that only “Bae” would understand and she’s no longer here to hear it can kill a man, and because of that you find yourself missing her so much, often the little things you took for granted, the simplest things, her giggle, her odd sense of humor or just the fresh smell of her panties.

Again, when is the right time to start dating again? And be fair to your new partner. In many cases, people subconsciously compare new “Bae” with ex-“Bae”, like “come on man, Ex cooked better, kissed better, and replied texts much quicker”, so much that you end up asking yourself this very dangerous question; Was that thing really worth breaking up over?
I have learned, in hindsight everything doesn’t really seem “that bad”, our minds are biased, they only remember what we want to remember, in other words, you will not remember the boiling kettle she threw at your genitals for liking another girl’s picture on Instagram, but you will remember the makeup sex you guys had afterwards.
But on a more serious note, comparing your previous relationship to your current one denies the current one a chance to thrive, because such judgments are never really objective.

The right time to move on is when you have truly made peace with the previous relationship and how it ended, when you wish nothing but happiness, health, wealth and many orgasms for your ex-partner (if there is such), and when your objectivity has been restored fully that you can enter a new relationship with no baggage from your old one, when you can truly travel light.

With that said, dear Ex, if I ever pitch up at midnight at your house reciting Drake’s lyrics, just know I’ve been at some dodgy club trying to pick up some dodgy women but failed because I’ve been with you forever and so my game is kind of outdated, and my righted hand with more biceps than the left one because I’ve been masturbating like crazy, and I talk nonstop because I’ve been having no one to talk to lately, and I’m drunk as hell begging you to take me back, please just offer me strong coffee, run me a bath and lay me down on your couch and I will wake up the next morning feeling terribly ashamed, apologize for my hysterics and do my walk of shame back home.
Thank you in advance.


Does Being A Pervert Make Me Such A Bad Person?

SEX, SEX, and more SEX= My average thoughts on an average day.
I’m not really certain if I should really write this one, but since I’ve went as far as putting my laptop on my lap I might as well. Welcome to forth base.

A woman breastfed next to me the other day, I couldn’t help but stare at her “titties”, so much that she had to stop and I felt so horrible as the baby started crying, the little man must have been not full. This other time I worked as a security guard, and this man and his wife had just purchased underwear for the Mrs., and as they walked out my alarm beeped and I had to search for tags still stuck in their packaged, and as I opened it my eyes glowed like a boy with a new toy, and the husband whispered in my ear; “Merry Christmas son”.


Does it all make me a bad person? Yes I sniff panties, masturbate, and randomly stare at strange women and fantasize about having sex with them.
My granny would be so ashamed of me, she raised me by the ways of Christianity and I know that fantasizing about adultery is a sin as actually committing it, but the last time I went to church I got an erection in the Lord’s house as I sat behind a lady with a booty so big that I could see the panties line underneath her long skirt, but then again I always have been so “vigilant”, hallelujah.

That was back in 2005 or 6, I’m a grown man now but I still have hormones of a 16 year old boy, and they embarrass me every day.
I often feel like Don Jon, my relationships often include me, girlfriend, dirty Facebook and twitter pages, pornhub and Vaseline, so my righted hand still aches as it did back in high school.


Does this entire make me a bad person, or just a shallow one?

I still read, write, treat other people well, pray to God (although I no longer go to church), and pay my taxes, but, I’d still sleep with the 1st lady that might walk through that door.

Does that make me such a bad person?


The Forbidden Fruit

It had been almost a year now since they have been “seeing” each other, but still the word “couple” was too farfetched for them, well he was “seeing” her, but sadly, she hardly noticed him back. To him she was the one, but to her he was just [another] one.

She lured him with seduction, and when he was in too deep she told me she already had a husband, but didn’t little bit of play. She added that her ex-play had to be let go because he had started to want more, and she couldn’t offer “more” because it were only reserved for Hubby, who was then more man than the I-want-more ex-play(er), he thought.

Finally he took the bait, of course he would have, he had never seen such beauty, he thought highly of her, and didn’t know play referred to his feelings.

She loved being pampered, being cared for, loved and appreciated, but had no plans to share with him thee one thing he had wanted most, the forbidden fruit. He had agreed to play because he thought play(ing) meant “playing with it”, but instead he became her [second] hubby in every possible way except for one he really yearned for the most, the forbidden fruit. They talked, laughed and play-ed, but just not the game he had signed up for. He, at that time, was vulnerably bare naked, and she on the other hand was still fully clothed as the first day they met, so what was underneath her blouse remained covered by her deceitful smile.

He only longed for her, with his Willy shrunk as his ego. And then his phone rang, they had planned to meet later on that day and he had planned to tell her that she had better give him “some”, or he’d leave her for “some”-one else. He was now ready to walk, he had been for a while now, but the thought of all the money and time he had spent on her made him decide although flesh wouldn’t compensate him, but it would surely console him, so he had stayed one more day, after one more day.
He rushed to the phone, it was a private number, he picked up, and before he could say anything, her seductively soft voice just said;
“I’m pregnant with his child, and I’m sorry to have wasted so much of your time”.