Guess Who’s Back???

It has been a long time since I last posted a blog article, and I am ashamed of myself.
You see, I had made a commitment to myself that I will post about two articles on WordPress every single week, and months have gone by since I have even shared a quote, and it’s a damn shame, because a man is only as good as his word.

Yes I have failed to keep my word, but please hear my plea, because I believe I really have some valid reasons for my “incompetence”.
First of all, things ain’t always that black and white, and your whole life can be turned upside down in just a moment. The last thing I remember is me writing my book peacefully and hoping to publish it soon and buy a stroller for my baby, and then the next moment I had no baby, or book, money, friends and not even a place to stay, and all that in just a blink of an eye.

I then took a job at retail trying to pick up the pieces, and before I knew it, I had went from selling expensive ladies perfumes and underwear to packing tin fish at Walmart and feeling like a damn idiot, and thinking to myself, “at least at my first job I interacted with beautiful ladies”.

I’m a very passionate author, so as much as I know how much of a waste it is for me to be pushing trolleys, packing tills and stock whilst I could have been just writing, I also know I just have to do it, it’s either that or go homeless boy.
And I cross my typist fingers that soon enough someone will spot my potential as I’m standing shamefully behind a trolley. Amen.

And I promise to check in on WordPress whenever I get a chance.

God bless you all.

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Shame

Every time I hear the Zulu accent I fall in love
With a man whom I had once forsaken,
Almost forgotten,
Buried him under my fifty shades
Of efforts to be accepted.

I fall in love with a man I had once suppressed
Expressed resentment and shame towards
Because of his originality, uniqueness,
As cowards,
Had convinced me cowardice was life,
Death, life, lies, truth,
fake smiles in public, and real tears behind closed doors.

The person I had once forsaken, almost forgotten,
Forged death of, in a very dark night with no stars in the sky
Forging the “apparent” enlightenment for the “apparent” new me,
The new free, in shackles and chains
In a very dark night with no stars in the sky,
So dark, that I was so blind, that I couldn’t see again,
That the “apparent” new me was the reason I cry.

Buried in shame, suffocated by my efforts for acceptance,
Estranged, with whom I strive for acceptance of.
Every time I hear the Zulu accent
It reminds me of a man I once was,
were, now in despair, bruised and abused
Dysfunctional, in the dark night,
Shattered, my reflection on my broken mirror is pure darkness,
I cry, tears wet my black eye, under my black eyes
My black skin, black hair, black Pride,
Zulu pride, gone forever
With the man I had once despised
But now more than eager,
Desperate to get back.

Dear Zulu, I am ashamed
I was once ashamed of you.