I remember you was conflicted
Misusing your influence
Sometimes I did the same
Abusing my power, full of resentment
Resentment that turned into a deep depression
Found myself screaming in the hotel room
I didn’t wanna self destruct
The evils of Lucy was all around me
So I went running for answers
Until I came home
But that didn’t stop survivor’s guilt
Going back and forth trying to convince myself the stripes I earned
Or maybe how A-1 my foundation was
But while my loved ones was fighting the continuous war back in the city, I was entering a new one
A war that was based on apartheid and discrimination
Made me wanna go back to the city and tell the homies what I learned
The word was respect
Just because you wore a different gang colour than mines
Doesn’t mean I can’t respect you as a black man
Forgetting all the pain and hurt we caused each other in these streets
If I respect you, we unify and stop the enemy from killing us
But I don’t know, I’m no mortal man, maybe I’m just another nigga.
I remember you was conflicted
Today I witnessed a young lady (probably in her early 20s) being caught red-handed shoplifting, and was arrested on the spot. When she was kept in the store’s “naughty corner” awaiting the police, customers gave her judgmental looks and the staff passed very hurtful comments.
Just the other day I had looked at all the security measures retail shops take these days, from clothes tags, surveillance cameras, guards by the door and much more, and wondered how much these cost to set up and maintain, but figured far lesser than being prone to shoplifting.
In that compromised position she was a criminal, so the society had every right to look at her like one. The shop staff that smile each day and sell clothes they can’t even afford themselves felt almost cheated by her, mocked almost and taken for fools because if she thought they were any smarter, she would have figured they’d catch her.
She was committed enough to almost find a way to get away with such a crime at such a sophisticated store, she must be very smart, only if she had directed her smartness at a different angle. Shoplifting is a crime, and even the justice system treat it as such, so grabbing a pair of Luella boots results in a criminal record as same as hijacking.
I just wonder why she did it, it wasn’t poverty because she wasn’t bare-footed. Maybe she and her girls were going to a party, and her crush was going to be there as well and so she really wanted to make a statement, her parents told her they can’t afford a new pair of shoes at the moment and so she opted to “plan B”, and now that she’s all alone in a prison cell she’s thinking was it really worth it? My friends, will they even come see me? And as for him, does he even know all the trouble I went through for him? Does he even care? And my parents, what will they say when they hear I’ve been arrested for shoplifting? What will I say to them? How will I even look at them?
The lesson here is; “there are no shortcuts in life”. There is nothing wrong with wanting the finer things in life, but you have to be willing to work for them. Actions have consequences, so be very careful of what you say or do because in the end it will come back to you in the very same way you had intended it for the next person.
ME: (sits up straight) Okay, I guess there’s no other way to ask you this, are you God?
LUCY: (chuckles) No, I’d say “Hell No” but given today’s topic, I rather not.
Me: So, how do you know for sure that you are not God?
LUCY: (smiles) Because if I were really God, I wouldn’t even have to think about it. I am only human, only a mere reflection of him, like you are.
ME: So he is a He?
LUCY: For argument sake, let’s say He is. I do not know God’s gender, race, and all the other average questions you may ask, but in my opinion, petty things as race and gender really do not matter to God, He is everything, all at once.
ME: Because we’re all made in his reflection?
LUCY: Yes Ubuntu (nodding), because of that.
ME: But, our religions are so different. Why is that?
LUCY: (smiling again) Religions are not God, but a mere interpretation of him. The reason we have so many different religions is, many people interpret “him” in many different ways.
ME: So, which ones are right and which ones aren’t?
LUCY: Honestly, it’s almost impossible to say. Let me tell you this, God is interpreted differently by different people because He reveals himself differently to different people. He came to Moses as a burning tree, and he came in a very different way to Paul.
ME: I get you now, I guess our faith is much weaker than Moses’s, because he never reveals himself to us.
LUCY: That is another mistake we make. We think that when he reveals himself it will be through extraordinary means or a burning tree, and not understand that it might have been through a homeless person that might have smiled at you today.
ME: (excited) Or maybe he reveals himself through my pastor.
LUCY: (with a straight face) Yes, maybe through him as well, as long as you still remember that your pastor is not more of his child than you are, in God’s eyes we are all equal.
ME: Are you also a Christian?
LUCY: I have only used Christianity because of your familiarity with it, but I am hoping you’ll apply these concepts on a much broader scale.
ME: (almost disappointed) Oh, okay. I’m still curious as to which religion is the best.
LUCY: There is no best. God doesn’t have a best side, all his sides are equally best.
ME: (more confused) I think you have lost me there, so do you mean that…………….
[TO BE CONTINUED………]
This guy swore to me he knows the secret to getting women, apparently, he got the “game” from his uncle and promised to pass it onto me, he must think I’m some kind of idiot, or his uncle thought he was.
No man truly knows exactly what is it that attracts ladies to them; no man knows exactly what girls like, and not even girls. Girls are different, even from each other so you can’t really measure their preferences based on a girl who laughed at your joke the other day, because you make meet a different girl and make the very same joke and look like a damn idiot. I’m not really an expert with women but ‘the make a joke’ route never really works out. I have seen many idiots make many idiotic jokes in front of their crush, and then a crush “crushes”, and I couldn’t help but think if that was me, I would have been seriously crushed.
And so the guy went on saying, “Girls do not want you to be all uptight, they want you to be cool”, I couldn’t help but think; being yourself is the “coolest” you can be, because if you fake it, she ain’t no fool, she’ll see you’re corny.
People that are comfortable in their own skins are the most attractive, because they have authenticity, uniqueness and originality that most “cool” people do not possess.
I have met a million experts when it comes to getting women, but somehow, they all just never seem to getting women themselves.
Anyway, I’ve once heard a lady say; “What we desire the most is not men, it’s just the ability to eat without getting fat”.
When I joined WordPress I never introduced myself properly, my apologies, I’d like to rectify my mistake, hopefully it’s not too late.
Ubuntu is my legacy. Most artists’ earlier work is never discovered, and I’d be dammed if the same happened to mine, so I’ve decided to store my stories, articles and poetry here, to make it easier for future literature scholars to discover them some day, and share them with a larger audience hopefully.
I have struggled a lot, from my parents leaving me to be raised by grandparents who never truly wanted to, as I struggle with sharing a sense of belonging to this very day. To living with my dad and stepmom, daddy was an alcoholic so he never truly was around and stepmom drew a line so vivid between “step” and “mom” that even a blind person could see it. Needless to say it didn’t work out in the end, so my aunt took me in, but reminded me every single day that nobody else wanted me, manipulated my gratitude and expected to be sung praises to like she was in fact God, The Book Of Yeezus. Mom only returned around my 10th grade, she and dad had reconciled by then, but he was then unemployed due to his alcoholism which significantly consumed him, so he was a nightmare to live with, not only were we that poor, but we were also abused, so picture being kicked in your “empty” stomach for no bloody reason at all.
Long story short, it is indeed a miracle to be sitting behind a computer screen and writing articles instead of being in a grave, or facing time in a maximum security prison. The day I had to grace prison, the victim dropped all charges. He gave us a second chance, as God did in countless instances that my crew “collided” with other crews and we came back in one piece. And God gave me a second chance, when he ensured my absence the day my close friend stabbed a man to death and was sentenced 25 to life.
My greatest tales are my greatest shames. No one has ever truly understood me, my high school teachers told me I had no potential to be anything at all, fellow students constantly mocked me and ostracized me, that loneliness has stuck with me to this very day, so much that in tertiary I only said about 10 words in a 3-year whole course, and in every job I’ve ever had I’d just read my book peacefully during lunch breaks that eventually co-workers would get me fired.
I’m currently unemployed, so this blog is to keep busy, make new friends and prevent insanity. I will tell you a lot about myself, assume a lot about you and the world around us, if you have so much time to yourself as I do, you happen to become very “creative”, trust me. Hopefully someone out there will relate, even it’s just one person, I will have fulfilled my duty.
I dream big, too big, and I want everyone with dreams as big as mine to know that they are not crazy, and to not let non-dreamers discourage them anyhow, even if it’s your best friend, lover or even your mama, they can’t tell you what you can or cannot be, the world is your oyster.
And to my dad, Rest in Peace Cowboy, we have forgiven you, forgive yourself as well. To my late son, daddy loves you so much, and he would have climbed mountains and swum with sharks just so you could have one good ass life, Rest in Peace young solder.
And to the rest of the world, I appreciated you reading this to these very last words, and hopefully it’s not the last time.
Thank you so much, and my apologies again for not doing this sooner.