I Write Because I’m Lonely

I often say I blog to practice my writing skills and share words of inspiration simultaneously, but one thing I never say is; I blog because I’m lonely, I have no one to talk to but the four walls I am always caged in.

Stuff most people often share in random conversations with their friends has to be formulated to a blog article with me because I have no friends to share it with, what a damn shame.

I have a very lively personality, interesting thoughts and theories and most importantly, such optimism on life that being around me should be “fun”, but judging by the number of friends I have (being zero by the way) it’s not, I guess my need for honesty, relevance and intellectual compatibility has left me estranged from the rest of the world.

I’ve recently started working again, thank heavens, because I had been cramped in my room for about four months straight apparently “working on my first book” that four days would go by without any interaction with other human beings, believe or not.

I do visit my mom on occasion, talk to my little bro about women and stuff, and chat with big sis from time to time, but mostly I’m all alone with my thoughts that haunt me, trouble me, and so one day I decided that the only way to counter contemplating suicide is to start blogging, share my thoughts with the world and in that way I will feel like I am also contributing something to the world.

I often feel like no one really knows me, understands me, my thoughts, feelings, emotions and the internal struggles I go through every day, they just see the awkwardly perverted a**hole with an “abstract” personality, and that’s me being as lenient with myself as I possibly can.

Honestly I am comfortable with being all alone, almost obsessed in fact, and I’d never trade my “privacy” for anything. Every night that I stay up late in total silence, in complete tranquility, and I start to write, about any and everything that comes to mind, in no certain order but just as according to feeling, are undeniably my most blissful moments.
But nevertheless, I’d still appreciate a random text from a random friend on a random day, even if it is just to remind me that they still remember that I’m still alive.

Amen.

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Racism In South Africa

Today marks 25 years that Nelson Mandela was released from prison. Rest In Peace to him.

weareubuntuhumanity

1990 was a very special year for all black South Africans; Nelson Mandela was released from prison. Most people expected him to declare war at whites for all they had done to him and other comrades, but being a wise man that he was, he understood that one could never truly end oppression by simply becoming an oppressor himself, so instead, he proposed an ideal South Africa popularly known as “the rainbow nation”, where all South Africans would live together in harmony and unity, as he subsequently proved with the 1994 general national elections, it was truly a dream come true.

The plan was to provide equal opportunities for all races, unite them, eliminate racial boundaries so much that all people would eventually look at each other beyond races, as just people. If anything at all, time has proved that 20 years of democracy is really not sufficient to fully…

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NOT JUST HAIR

ntsikimazwai

Sisters, put on your big girl panties, I’m about to engage the weave debate.

Yes……AGAIN.

You must understand that for as long as the black girl feels they need a helmet on their head 24/7…….we have a problem. The question is WHAT are we hiding and WHY?

 

I have been engaging this issue for many years. Some people ‘Get It’ while others feel I should ‘Get over It.’

Let’s go through some of the reasons I think the weave is a dis-ease and a diss to the black girl.

 

#IMITATION:

 

Imitation gives power to the person you are emulating. When a person imitates me, I know they want to be like me.

Black girl, our hair is not naturally long and flowing. Accept it. Embrace it. Flaunt it.

Nobody in the world has hair like yours. Most of the other races have similar hair.

Our hair is…

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FAITH

As I am writing this piece I am in a very ‘challenging’ point in my life. I am really struggling to make ends meet, I do not have a reliable stable income that manages to cover all my basic needs, I am really not doing as well as I would like to (nor as I had hoped I would be at this point and time), and I am not moving closer to my goals in a pace I had hoped I would.

And in all that I still have dreams, not just dreams but very big dreams. Now the crazy thing about dreams when they are just not coming true, everyone kind of expects you to drop them and get a nine-to-five job just to survive, and maybe after 10 years of scrubbing floors you can afford an average four-room house, a humble Toyota and a good credit record to acquire a loan to get your kids to tertiary.

I do not intend to offend anyone living that life or planning to, but it’s very far from what I have planned for myself. I am not driven by money, but my God is my dreams. My passion, my aspirations and ambitions are what drive me; they give me the strength to rise each day even when it really seems hopeless. I guess the plan I have in my mind is to do what I love, because a wise man once said; “do what you love and you will never have to work a single day in your life”.

I think one thing that is important as much as having dreams, if not more than, is having faith in them. It is having faith that they will come true, and having faith in yourself that you’ll be able to pull it off. And that is not as simple as it sounds, for you’re not in this world by yourself. There are negative people that will see to it that they remind you every day how you do not have what it takes to make it, how stupid, imaginative to upright insane you are for believing that one day you will leave these streets to pursue your dream of becoming a pilot. The thing about “Dream-Killers” is they’ll repeat their negativity as many times as necessary for you to start believing it. Now here is the thing, you cannot control other peoples’ thoughts, whether about the world or about you, but you can however control their impact on you. The devil is a very passionate man, and he doesn’t give up very easily. So when the “Devil’s Agents” tell you a hundred times each day how you cannot make it, ensure to repeat it to yourself 101 times how you will, even go as far as 200 times if it’s necessary. There is no such thing in life such as too much positivity.

Recently I bumped into this wonderful book by a gentleman named OG Mandino; A Better Way To Live. The crazy thing is I have never heard of him before and this is his 17th offering, but I guess God has a way of ensuring that things do really reach you when they are meant for you. I haven’t written a blog article in forever and I wasn’t planning on going back to writing anytime soon. But after reading this book I had to write something, initially the plan was just to note down the rules on this book for my own personal use, so I can always go back to them for inspiration whenever I lose my way. But just before I commenced, i figured out that it would be selfish of me to just note them on a piece of paper and keep them to myself. So I decided to write this article, the plan is to share these 17 rules with you in hope to restore your faith and give you the strength to carry on.
A very close friend of mine once said: “The world belongs to the dreamers”. With that said let us not waste any more of your precious time, let us get straight to it;

RULE ONE
Count your blessings. Once you realize how valuable you are and how much you have going for you, the smiles will return, the sun will break out, the music will play, and you will finally be able to forward toward the life that God intended for you … with grace, strength, courage, and confidence.
RULE TWO
Today, and every day, deliver more than you’re getting paid to do. The victory of success will be half won when you learn the secret of putting out more than is expected in all that you do. Make yourself so valuable in your work that eventually you will become indispensable. Exercise your privilege to go the extra mile, and enjoy all the rewards that you receive. You deserve them.
RULE THREE
Whenever you make a mistake or get knocked down by life, don’t look back at it for too long. Mistakes are life’s way of teaching you. Your capacity for occasional blunders is inseparable from your capacity to reach your goals. No one wins them all, and your failures, when they happen, are just part of your growth. Shake off your blunders. How will you know your limits without an occasional failure? Never quit. Your turn will come.
RULE FOUR
Always reward your long hours of labor and toil in the very best way, surrounded by your family. Nurture their love carefully, remembering that your children need models, not critics, and your own progress will hasten when you constantly strive to present your best side to your children. And even if you have failed at all else in the eyes of the world, if you have a loving family you’re a success.
RULE FIVE
Build this day on a foundation of pleasant thoughts. Never fret at imperfections that you fear may impede your progress. Remind yourself, as often as necessary, that you are a creature of God and have the power to achieve any dream by lifting up your thoughts. You can fly when you decide that you can. Never consider defeat again. Let the vision in your hearty be in your life’s blueprint. Smile!
RULE SIX
Let your actions always speak for you, but be forever on guard against the terrible trap of false pride and conceit that can halt your progress. The next time you are tempted to boast, just place your fist in a full pail of water, and when you remove it, the whole remaining will give you a correct measure of your importance.
RULE SEVEN
Each day is a special gift from God, and while life may not always be fair, you must never allow the pains, hurdles, and handicaps of the moment to poison your attitude and plans for yourself and your future. You can never win when you wear the ugly cloak of self-pity, and the sour sound of whining will certainly frighten away any opportunity for success. Never again. There is a better way.
RULE EIGHT
Never again clutter your days or nights with so many menial and unimportant things that you have no time to accept a real challenge when it comes along. This applies to play as well as work. A day merely survived is no cause for a celebration. You are not here to fritter away your precious hours when you have the ability to accomplish so much by making a slight change in your routine. No more busywork. No more hiding from success. Leave time, leave space, to grow. Now! Now! Not tomorrow!
RULE NINE
Live this day as if it will be your last. Remember that you will only find “tomorrow” on the calendar of fools. Forget yesterday’s defeats, and ignore the problems of tomorrow. This is it. Doomsday. All you have. Make it the best day of your year. The saddest words you can ever utter are, “If I had my life to live over again. . . . . .” Take the baton, now. Run with it! This is your day!
RULE TEN
Beginning today, treat everyone you meet, friend or foe, loved one or stranger, as if they were going to be dead at midnight. Extend to each person, no matter how trivial the contact, all the care and kindness and understanding and love that you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again.
RULE ELEVEN
Laugh at yourself and at life. Not in the spirit of derision or whining self-pity, but as a remedy, a miracle drug, that will ease your pain, cure your depression, and help you to put in perspective that seemingly terrible defeat of the moment. Banish tension and concern and worry with laughter at your predicaments, thus freeing your mind to think clearly toward the solution that is certain to come. Never take yourself too seriously.
RULE TWELVE
Never neglect the little things. Never skimp on that extra effort, that additional few minutes, that soft word of praise or thanks, that delivery of the very best that you can do. It does not matter what others think, it is of prime importance, however, what you think about you. You can never do your best, which should always be your trademark, if you’re cutting corners and shirking responsibilities. You are special. Act it. Never neglect the little things.
RULE THIRTEEN
Welcome every morning with a smile. Look on the new day as another special gift from your Creator, another golden opportunity to complete what you are unable to finish yesterday. Be a self-starter. Let your first hour set the theme of success and positive action that is certain to echo through your entire day. Today will never happen again. Don’t waste it with a false start or no start at all. You were not born to fail.
RULE FOURTEEN
You will achieve your grand dream, a day at a time, so set your goals for each day- not long and difficult projects but chores that will take you, step by step, toward the rainbow. Write them down, if you must, but limit your list so that you won’t have to drag today’s undone matters into tomorrow. Remember that you cannot build your empire in twenty-four hours. Be patient. Never allow your day to become so cluttered that you forget your most important goal- to do the best you can, enjoy this day, and rest satisfied with what you have accomplished.
RULE FIFTEEN
Never allow anyone to rain on your parade and thus cast a pall of gloom and defeat on the entire day. Remember that no talent, no self-denial, no brains, no character, are required to set up in the fault-finding business. Nothing external can have any power over you unless you permit it. Your time is too precious to be sacrificed in wasted days combating the menial forces of hate, jealousy, and envy. Guard your fragile life carefully. Only God can shape a flower, but any foolish child can pull it to pieces.
RULE SIXTEEN
Search for the seed of good in every adversity. Master that principle and you will own a precious shield that will guard you well through all the darkest valleys you must traverse. Stars may be seen from the bottom of a deep well, when they cannot be discerned from the mountaintop. So will you learn things in adversity that you never would have discovered without trouble. There is always a seed of good. Find it and prosper.
RULE SEVENTEEN
Realize that true happiness lies within you. Waste no time and effort searching for peace and contentment and joy in the world outside. Remember that there is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving. Reach out. Share. Smile. Hug. Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.

After reading these rules, I had faith that if I’d commit myself to them I’d achieve self-confidence, a sense of self-worth, the fire in my soul would return and the will to keep on working towards achieving my goals would return, one day at a time. And I do hope that you will also feel the same about them. And I was hoping that we will embark in this journey together, although you can never really transform your life unless you do it by yourself, but it is always reassuring to know there is someone out there who is going exactly the same thing you’re going through, who feels exactly what you’re feeling and most importantly, who is willing as much as you are to make a difference in their life and those of everyone around them.
Thank you. Until next time my good friend.

WELCOME ME BACK

After more than two years of complete silence I have finally decided to pick the pen up and write again. A lot has changed since I last posted. My life has changed drastically, so has my overall perception of it. Before writing this one I decided to read my last post (http://www.ubuntu-humanity.blogspot.com/2012/10/freedom.html ), and I was amazed by what two years can do for you, it can change you completely.

When I started blogging I was madly in love with my girlfriend of that time, until she fell pregnant with some other guy’s child and I learned that things are not always as they seem. The most important lesson I learned from that was that you can never control everyone and everything, disappointments are bound to occur along the way and the best thing you can do is to rise above them.

In the beginning of 2013 my parents separated. When something like that happens it changes everything, your perspective on love (even life as a whole), God’s method of doing things amongst other things, but in the end you learn to make peace with it, and accept that everything happens for a reason. Truth be told, it had been over between my parents way long before the separation. With that said I’d like to take my hat off for both of them for finally taking the bold step of separating officially, and not because they now hate each other but because they finally understood that they both deserve better. And as simple as I may say it now, at the time of its occurrence it was very appalling. You look at your mother and feel scared, not because you doubt her independence but because you wonder if the world still has room for her as a single woman in her early forties. And you also resent your father a bit, question if he ever loved your mother at all for you feel he has given up on her very quickly. And as he walks out the door you get very torn, because you feel that not only has he given up on her, but he has also given up on his own children too. But eventually you get to understand, although sometimes it is to finally understand that you will never understand.

With two years being such a long time I’d like to say that since then I’ve learned to be independent and really do things for myself. Most people underestimate the importance of knowing how to do things for yourself until they get to live by themselves. Long story short, I have never known the importance of owning a broom until I lived by myself and had to see to it that my place is clean. Being alone in this cold world is an eye-opener. It only has this one simple rule; “Do things for yourself or they shall remain undone”. This is one of the biggest challenges ever, because at this point you learn to sacrifice and to compromise on a lot of things. You also learn that you cannot compare your life to other people, because your circumstances are very different and you cannot always have everything you want at that time convenient only for you.

But nevertheless it is a very rewarding journey, because once you learn the ropes, everything else just automatically falls into place. And one thing that is greater than achieving something is the satisfaction of knowing that you have done it on your own. In life I have learned that you start with laying a single brick, and if you work really hard, before you know it, you will have a full house. It is all about one step at a time, one day at a time.

I have decided to write again. I have decided to share my story again. Because I have a dream to make a difference, to bring comfort to whoever may be going through a similar situation by letting they know that they’re not alone.

I have finally acknowledged my writing as a gift, as the only thing that that I’m good at. And another lesson life has taught me is that; “When there is nothing else to do, just do what you know and you will never go wrong”.

And if my writing can bring a smile to someone out there, even if it can be just one person, I’ll know that I have done my job because the world has added one more smiley face because of me.

Contact details:
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