To The Independent Ladies

There is nothing more attractive than a woman who doesn’t really need you, for some strange reason her non-neediness becomes part of her charm, as long as she doesn’t overdo it.
Make me feel like you can survive without me, but don’t actually do it.

Personally, when I like someone I obsess, I will want to know where they are all the time, what are they up to, with whom, and I spend most of my lonesome moments worrying if they’re also thinking about me, if they find me as attractive as I find them, the uncertainty really tortures me but I guess it’s all part of the charm, right?

I understand that some ladies just do not want to seem easy and be taken advantage of, but damn it girl, please wink at me every once in a while so I know I actually do stand a chance.

And finally, to the “independent” ladies, maybe you’ve witnessed your mama being taken advantage of by daddy because she relied on him just a little “too much”, or your baby’s father left you pregnant, please know this; as much as I’m attracted by how you’re able to take care of yourself but I also want to take care of you, I am not your dad nor your baby father but I’m Ubuntu, and I would like to ask you out for drink sometime.
Do I really stand a chance?

Advertisements

Me And Women’s Shoes

Before I say anything, I just want to congratulate myself for my new job, well done boy.

I’ve worked too many many jobs in my life to still be flattered by these things but for some strange reason this time I am, and I really don’t know why. Maybe it’s because it came when I most needed it? Or, maybe it’s because I assist women buy shoes, I mean, beautiful women to buy beautiful shoes.

I have only worked for two days but it was long enough for the obsession women have with shoes to be justified to me; women’s shoes are just too adorable, whether it’s boots, shoots, hiker boots, push-ins, pums, open toes, wedges, (my personal favorite) hills, or any other kind.

Every kind is designed specifically unique, and for a newbie as myself a great deal of confusion is suffered, I confuse shoes, and women know them too well to be looted by my incompetence, so I’ve run back and forth like a damn idiot more times than I care to remember (in only two days by the way). The other challenge is I’m colorblind, so all these different shoe colors are rocket science to me, for instance, ink navy, mushroom and my new favorite, “nude”, I really have no idea why a color would be called “nude” but since it’s nudity, this might be the first color I’m able to see.

maxresdefault

I guess I just wanted to say, “Congratulations to myself”.
And ladies, once I’m a shoe guru, I promise to offer some shoe shopping tips.

Bye girls.